IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter • remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of job you are interested in say why you think you would be suitable for the job

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Dear Mr PATEL, my name is Astha Patel, I hope
youre
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you are
 doing well. The reason behind writing
this
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lewer
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letter
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 is
i
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I
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 want to discuss
regarding
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apply
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the conversation we had
last
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 week. It was a pleasure sitting next to you during the fight
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in canada
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canada
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Canada
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 to
london
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London
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.I remember that you suggested that
i
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I
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 should reach out to you
tor
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for
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 the Job as you own a
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resturant
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restaurant
 chain, And I would like to
exress
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express
 my interest. I am keen to contribute in a managerial or operations Role in your
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resturant
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restaurant
.I have over 6 Years of experience in hospitality and management and
i
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I
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 am confident that
i
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I
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 have a good ability to contribute
in
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to
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 your
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resturant
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restaurant
. I have expertise in Team development, Staff training,customer satisfaction,
optimise
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and optimise
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resturant
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restaurant
 operations to increase profit. Thank you for your time and
consideratone
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consideration
 I would welcome the opportunity to discuss how
i
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I
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 could contribute to your business. Yours sincerely ASTHA PATEL.

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general
Try to double-check for spelling and grammar errors (e.g., ‘resturant’, ‘consideratone’) to enhance clarity and professionalism.
coherence
Consider organizing your ideas more clearly by providing distinct paragraphs for each point. For instance, one paragraph can focus on your experience, and another can discuss your suitability for the job.
tone
Make sure your greeting and closing are consistent in terms of formality. Keeping a formal tone throughout enhances professionalism in business correspondence.
content
You have provided relevant details about your experience in the hospitality sector, which strongly ties into the job you are applying for.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chain of restaurants
  • potential job opportunity
  • relevant experience
  • managerial role
  • customer service
  • qualifications
  • certifications
  • unique skills
  • eagerness
  • admiration
  • resume
  • references
  • face-to-face meeting
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