IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pie charts illustrate the average house expenses between two Asian nations in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 the given data,
Use synonyms
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 dwellers spend more on transport, health care and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and services than Malaysians.
However
Linking Words
, Malaysian
sitizens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 pay more for housing and food.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2010, Japanese people
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
 21% for house rent,
whereas
Linking Words
 Malaysians
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 noticeably more,
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 35%, making it the largest
expenses
Fix the agreement mistake
expense
show examples
 among all sectors.
Also
Linking Words
, expenditures in Malaysia for food
higher
Add a missing verb
are higher
show examples
 than in
Japan
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 accounted for 27%,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
Use synonyms
japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 citizens spend a little less by 3% (24%). Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the services, Japanese people pay markedly more. Transport in
Japan
Use synonyms
 is much more expensive (20%),
while
Linking Words
 expenditures in Malaysia
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 less
in
Change preposition
than
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double (10%). Other
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and services
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 higher in
Japan
Use synonyms
, accounting for 29% which makes it the largest proportion,
while
Linking Words
 Malaysian dwellers pay 26%
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the third-largest sector. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, the smallest figure in a breakdown in both countries
attributed
Add a missing verb
is attributed
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care where
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
account
Replace the word
accounting
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 6% in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and 3% in Malaysia.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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