IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The majority of rural
people
Use synonyms
 are coming to receive a career in the
cities
Use synonyms
 because they believe that it can help them to find a new
resource
Correct your spelling
source
show examples
 of income.
Thus
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have an opinion
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
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 in the countryside is decreasing. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to illustrate
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why we should not encourage
people
Use synonyms
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 which move to
cities
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, the immigration of rural
people
Use synonyms
 who want to move to
cities
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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increase
Replace the word
increasingly
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 demanding, because they need income for living. We do not rejectable that the
centra
Correct your spelling
central
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 are
Correct article usage
the center
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 markets.
As a result
Linking Words
,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in
centra
Correct your spelling
central
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 are overcrowding. When
cities
Use synonyms
 enforced overcrowding
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
, the
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 were
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in order to meet the
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
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 of
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
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. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, if the population
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
, the number of
demanding
Replace the word
demands
show examples
 would rise as
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
people
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 in
period
Correct article usage
the period
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.
Moreover
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, those
issue
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issues
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 have a possible chance that it become to environmental pollution
issue
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issues
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such
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 as
wastes
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waste
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,
and
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apply
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air, and
noisy
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noise
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 policy
relate
Wrong verb form
related
show examples
 to
issue
Add an article
the issue
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. They should write the policy about the immigration of rural
people
Use synonyms
. Not only limitation but
also
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 controlling.
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should allocate a job and give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quota to apply for a job in order to reduce overcrowding.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should
extent
Replace the word
extend
show examples
 income and beneficial welfare
as
Change preposition
to
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centra
Correct your spelling
central
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
. If the
government
Use synonyms
 develop the countryside, the percentage of immigration may
be decrease
Change the verb form
be decreased
be decreasing
show examples
, and rural
people
Use synonyms
 will help the society to keep the
traditionally
Change the adverb
traditional
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 culture for representation
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer and more engaging. Additionally, explicitly stating your viewpoint at the end of the introduction can guide the reader better.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary and correct tense usage throughout the essay to improve clarity. For example, 'centra cities' should be corrected to 'central cities'.
task achievement
The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion more clearly. Ending with a statement about the importance of addressing rural development could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Using linking words or phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay tackles a relevant issue and presents a clear opinion on rural-to-urban migration.
task achievement
You provide several points about the implications of overcrowding in cities, demonstrating an understanding of the consequences of rural migration.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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