IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets are responsible for reducing the packaging of goods. At the same time, others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is an irrefutable fact that our lifestyle has considerably altered during the recent decade. Research has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
established that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is
Correct article usage
a singnificant
show examples
singnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 surge in packaging
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 easily available in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
. An
overwheling
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
 majority of
people
Use synonyms
 think that manufacturers and
retailes
Correct your spelling
retailers
 are the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 packaged
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
, others argue by saying that
people
Use synonyms
 should not buy
Linking Words
this packed and processed goods
Change the determiner
these packed and processed goods
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I will endeavour to shed some light on both the views with
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 reasons. On the one hand, the main point industries are producing
good
Change the adjective
well
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 with
packaing
Correct your spelling
packaging
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 not only grocery stores are displaying all the
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 in the open market nowadays it is widely available in the market. They are producing
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
people
Use synonyms
 are creating demand.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are not responsible for reducing
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
 of
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Costco is
big
Add an article
a big
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 supply chain store in the USA and they are producing so many packaged
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and customers are purchasing all products.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals are responsible for their own health
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 manufacturing companies are producing but
people
Use synonyms
 should buy goods
according to
Linking Words
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are aware of their body, health and lifestyle so any athletic sportperson will maintain their food intake. In
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 they will avoid packaged food. So
as a result
Linking Words
, others should
also
Linking Words
 try not to buy
Linking Words
this goods
Change the determiner
these goods
show examples
 we should learn and increase awareness through
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. In conclusion, an individual will try to avoid packed food available in
supaermarkets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 can
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 run.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure all main points are clearly articulated and logically connected throughout the essay. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall argument or discussion.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammar, as they can detract from the clarity of your ideas. For instance, double-check words like 'significant' and 'overwhelming.'
task achievement
More precise examples or evidence would strengthen your argument, such as statistics on packaging waste or specific consumer behaviors related to packaging.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives on the issue, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided your own opinion clearly by stating that you agree with the need for individuals to take responsibility.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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