IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Now women and men both have full time jobs. So logically they should do housework equally. Do you agree or disagree?

Currently, both men and women have full-time jobs, so it makes sense for them to share
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 equally. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it creates a fair balance, and it has some beneficial aspects for
family
Correct article usage
the family
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. First of all, sharing housework is fair. If both partners spend the same amount of time
to work
Change the verb form
working
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 outside, it is not unfair for only one person to do all the house chores. In the the past, women stayed at home
while
Linking Words
 men worked, but by today,
this
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 has altered,
thus
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,
responsibilities
Correct article usage
the responsibilities
show examples
 of
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 change.
Secondly
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, dividing household tasks can make relationships stronger. If one person does all the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 at home, it might feel exhausting and unpleasant.
Therefore
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, unequal distribution of household chores can breed negative issues. 
However
Linking Words
, if both individuals contribute to maintaining the home, they will feel valued and respected, leading to a more cooperative living enjoyment.
In addition
Linking Words
, they can finish tasks and have sufficient time for personal hobbies, serene relaxation, the joy of connection and
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 interests. In conclusion, the principle of equal contribution to housework is not just a suggestion, but a necessity. It reflects the values of modern partnerships, promotes relationship harmony, and
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
 individual well-being.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but try to include more specific parameters or examples about the benefits of shared housework to strengthen it.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, providing specific examples or anecdotes could enhance your arguments significantly and make them more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words or phrases to help transitions between points for improved cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure the conclusion reiterates key points succinctly and perhaps suggests a call to action or a broader implication for society.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear stance on the provided topic, which makes your argument easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, with clear paragraphs, each focusing on different aspects of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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