IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned from the city center, while others consider this idea an unrealistic solution. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The topic is subjective and often sparks a debate. some folks contend that ban on private vehicles is the only solution to traffic congestion,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 other thinks that
this
Linking Words
 is not
ideal
Add an article
an ideal
the ideal
show examples
 approach. The essay will delve into both the views
along with
Linking Words
 my own
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
. Proponents of
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 view argue that personal mode of
transport
Use synonyms
 should be banned as it is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 increasing the traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 on the roads. One prominent benefit of banning private cars is the reduction of pollution.
This
Linking Words
 will be the first step towards saving
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would
allievate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
 the chances of accidents and make
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 for pedestrians to walk safely. Statistics
reveals
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveal
show examples
 that there is
78
Correct article usage
a 78
show examples
% reduction in accident rates after
implimenting
Correct your spelling
implementing
 strict rules and regulations
such
Linking Words
 as banning private
transport
Use synonyms
. On the other side, there are some disadvantages associated with the banning of personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
. first of all, it will increase the burden on public
transport
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as trains or buses.
for example
Linking Words
, data collected by "The News Time" 80%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 opted private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 as it offers them
covenience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 and comfort.
secondly
Linking Words
, it will
make
Verb problem
be
show examples
 difficult for the people who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in rural areas as they do not have access to government
transport
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, no doubt, there are some pros of
this
Linking Words
 notion,
however
Linking Words
 its
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 cannot be ignored.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction could be strengthened by clearly stating your opinion rather than using phrases like 'this essay will delve into both views.' Make it more direct and assertive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments. This will help improve coherence.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and data to support your arguments. While you provided some statistics, incorporating more details or anecdotes could improve clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
You presented arguments for both sides of the debate, which shows that you understand the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
Your discussion of the potential benefits of banning private vehicles is well articulated and relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: