IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the spending on three types among various age groups of people who live in the United Kingdom in 2004. There are three categories: food and drink, restaurant and hotel, and entertainment. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the expenditure on provisions and beverages was high in the age above 76 at about 22.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
, followed by the 61-75
group
Use synonyms
, 46-60
group
Use synonyms
, 31-45, and under 30
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the residents aged under 30 to 60 had a lot of costs in restaurants and hotels with about 12 to 14 per
cent
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the beyond 76 and the 61-75
group
Use synonyms
 were just 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and only 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, for entertainment spending, the 61-75
group
Use synonyms
 was the highest age
group
Use synonyms
, with 22.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in total. In conclusion, the person who aged 61 to over 76 seemed to love spending on food and drink and entertaining things but the population who were under 60 tended to be interested in restaurants and hotels.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: