IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The Most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problems in cities is to encourage people to move from the suburbs or country into the city Centre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that if people migrate from
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
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 or
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 into the
city
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centre
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 , there is a chance of having
a
Remove the article
apply
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control over current
traffic
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 and
pollution
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 . I don´t fully agree
on
Change preposition
with
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 the statement given . It is true that the suburbs are getting populated more than usual . Moving more people into the
city
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centre
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 will not only worsen
traffic
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 and
pollution
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 but it will increase the demand for transportation, housing , and other services which will lead to more congestion and
pollution
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 rather than decreasing it .
For example
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 , cities like London and Tokyo still suffer
due to
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this
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 situation , despite having dense urban populations.
Furthermore
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 ,
this
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solution
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ignore
Change the verb form
ignores
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 other valuable approaches . Improving transportation , promoting walking and cycling , and placing limits on car use are often more effective in reducing
traffic
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 and emissions .
This
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solution
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 not only
work
Change the verb form
works
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 in the
city
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 centres but
also
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 can be really effective in the suburbs and rural areas , creating a more balanced and sustainable solutions . Some may argue residing near
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
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centre
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 will be convenient to go to work ,
reduce
Correct word choice
and reduce
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 the time to drive , which is true to some extent .
However
Linking Words
 , unless affordable housing and good
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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 are provided in the
city
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centre
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 , overcrowding and other social issues may
arrise
Correct your spelling
arise
. In conclusion , relocating could help to reduce
commuting
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the commuting
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 distance for some ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it is not the best
solution
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 to mitigate
traffic
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 and
pollution
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 . Investing in public transport and eco-friendly infrastructure across all areas is
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 effective and long-term
solution
Use synonyms
 .

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Task Achievement
Expand on your introduction to clearly outline your position on the topic. Providing a clear stance can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly to improve the fluidity of your essay. Using more cohesive devices can enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Provide additional relevant examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and illustrate your understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You have raised several valid points regarding the potential drawbacks of relocating people to city centers, which reflect critical thinking.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main ideas and reiterates your stance, which is a crucial aspect of writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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