IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate the electricity generated in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 and the different sources and
renewables
Use synonyms
 in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that conventional thermal is the major
source
Use synonyms
 of electricity
generation
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in
France
Use synonyms
, nuclear
represented
Verb problem
power is
show examples
 the main
source
Use synonyms
 of power. The largest contribution of generated electricity in
Germany
Use synonyms
, whose total
generation
Use synonyms
 was 560 billion kWh in 2009, was accounted
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
 conventional thermal at 59.6%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, conventional thermal comprised
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only 10.3% in
France
Use synonyms
, whose total
generation
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 was lower than
Germany
Use synonyms
 being 510 billion kWh in 2009. Nuclear constituted around
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
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 of the
generation
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
, which is approximately three times higher than its contribution in
Germany
Use synonyms
 “23%”. Reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
renewables
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
 made up almost the same portion in both countries with the figures 17.4% and 13.7% for
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 in order. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, biomass was the biggest segment in
renewables
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
, comprising about 40% of the
renewables
Use synonyms
 power.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in
France
Use synonyms
 it only represented 8% of the total. Moving to hydroelectric, the most significant renewable
source
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
, making up most of the
renewables
Use synonyms
’ power in
France
Use synonyms
 at 80.5% but in
Germany
Use synonyms
 it was only 17% of the total. Wind made up about 36% of
renewables
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and 10% in
France
Use synonyms
. Neither country used geothermal energy.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, france, renewables, source, generation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
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