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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays, more and more people visit well-known places mainly to take photographs, often without truly observing or experiencing the place itself. This trend raises some important questions: Why is this happening, and do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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Since the beginning of the 21st century,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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people
Use synonyms
prefer
Wrong verb form
have preferred
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 to visit famous
places
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 to take their pictures without looking at the place. There is some reason for
this
Linking Words
 situation, and
Linking Words
according to
Change preposition
apply
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, it includes negative points that will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
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 the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,
this
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 is happening
due to
Linking Words
 the influence of social media. To explain
this
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, as we can see, there are so many social media apps where
people
Use synonyms
 upload their pictures every time. Whenever they go out anywhere, they just want to show off that thing and get some popularity.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 do not get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable knowledge about their well-known
places
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. To explain, when anyone visits any well-known place just to capture a picture,
then
Linking Words
 they don’t get that valuable history, and they lose precious experience regarding that place.
As a result
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 of
this
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, they become more materialistic and leave their valuable culture behind. To exemplify, a survey was conducted by a tourism agency in 2019. That survey disclosed that when reporters took feedback from visitors about the history of
places
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, approximately 85% of
people
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 didn’t know about anything. They just came to take pictures to show and earn money from social media.
To conclude
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,
this
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 situation includes negative influence on our cultural
places
Use synonyms
 because of capitalistic influences

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task achievement
Expand on your introduction to better present the topic and your position clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or explanations to support your points for increased clarity and depth.
task achievement
You have identified a relevant issue and presented your opinion clearly in the introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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