IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. I would argue that video game my give the negative effect

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Do you know that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are used by most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
?.
Use synonyms
video
Capitalize word
Video
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 are very
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
viodeo
Correct your spelling
video
games
Use synonyms
 are beneficial.
however
Linking Words
,Others think that
viodeo
Correct your spelling
video
games
Use synonyms
 are disadvantages.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 have many bad
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
. On the one hand ,it is
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
 by some
people
Use synonyms
 that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 can benefit you
such
Linking Words
 as ,you can learn new things
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,you can know new
people
Use synonyms
 and make a relationship with them.
In other words
Linking Words
 ,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 can give you
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
information about the computer so you will learn how
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 use it
.
Correct your spelling
For
for example
Linking Words
,my cousin in one day he face a
problen
Correct your spelling
problem
 on his device but he
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem in two hours because of the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 that he learnd.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,many
people
Use synonyms
 think that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are harmful.In fact,playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 for a long time can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 you
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 many
disses
Correct your spelling
dishes
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as it will
hert
Correct your spelling
hurt
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 eyes and your back because of the wrong session.A study published in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in 1997
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
said that
people
Use synonyms
 who play
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 free time
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of hungout with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may be exposed
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 disses more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
people
Use synonyms
 and they may be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
introvert
people
Use synonyms
 . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are more likely to
me
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 harmful than beneficial.

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language
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. Check for common mistakes, such as 'nowaday' which should be 'nowadays', and 'populer' which should be 'popular'.
content
While you present both sides of the argument, try to strengthen your points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help to fully develop your ideas.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you provide sufficient support for it. Consider using topic sentences to guide your reader.
idea
You have made an effort to present both views on the impact of video games, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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