IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You won a competition and received a vacation for two as a prize. Write a letter to invite a friend to go with you. In the letter - tell about the competition you won, - specify what kind of vacation it is, - explain why you want your friend to be there.

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Dear Sara, Trust you're doing splendidly! It's been ages since we
last
Linking Words
 caught up. I've got some exciting news to share
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with you-
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 won a competition and received a vacation for two people as a prize. I immediately thought of you. It will little getaway for both of us.
Last
Linking Words
 week, I participated in
art
Correct article usage
an art
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 and music show and luckily,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 won
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first prize. So, the prize is a trip to Goa,
i'm
Change the capitalization
I'm
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 sure
trip
Correct article usage
the trip
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 will be full of laughter, joy and memories. We will reminisce about
our
Change the pronoun
the
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 old and golden days that we spent together. They will
also
Linking Words
 provide us
a
Add the preposition
with a
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tour
guider
Correct your spelling
guide
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. All expenses are on the sponsors of the show. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 moved to another city, we didn't catch up. So it will be a fun and enjoyable trip for both of us. Hope you come! See you soon! Warmly, Rohan

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task achievement
Consider adding a brief description of what you enjoyed most about the competition.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow between ideas by using linking words or phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread the letter for minor grammatical errors and punctuation for a polished finish.
greeting and closing
The friendly greeting and closing create a warm tone for the letter.
complete response
You provided clear details about the competition and the prize, which engages the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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