IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government invest in sports is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent are you agree or disagree?

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Investing money
on
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in
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 sports is considered
as
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apply
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a waste by
significant
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a significant
the significant
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 number of individuals. Nowadays, people are paying higher taxes and
thus
Linking Words
, want
this
Linking Words
 money to be used in building
safe
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a safe
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 and healthy environment. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
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 the aforementioned statement. First and foremost, the
literacy
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rate
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 is declining
due to
Linking Words
 the unaffordable
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fees of private schools and universities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the money should be invested in building some of the free and affordable educational institutions, giving equal opportunity to all individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having a country with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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literacy
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rate
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,
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apply
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 decreases the crime
rate
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. To add an example, India's
literacy
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rate
Use synonyms
 increased by 20%
last
Linking Words
 year which added more security and
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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 environment as the crime
rate
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got
Verb problem
was
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 reduced.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the higher authorities should invest
on
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in
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medical
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the medical
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 sector.
The medical
Correct article usage
Medical
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 hospitals with advanced equipment and facilities should be provided in every corner of the city. These days
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private hospitals are being collapsed
due to
Linking Words
 expensive treatment and unaffordable medicines,
thus
Linking Words
, the treatment should be given either free of cost or
according to
Linking Words
 the income of the individual.
For instance
Linking Words
, health cards are issued by
Correct article usage
the canadian
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canadian
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Canadian
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 government to every citizen which offer some of the basic treatment completely free of cost.
Therefore
Linking Words
, investment in
this
Linking Words
 sector will increase the health
rate
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 of society.
To conclude
Linking Words
, more investment is needed
on
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in
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educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 and health sectors as
this
Linking Words
 will increase the
literacy
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rate
Use synonyms
 and
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
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more
Add an article
a more
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 healthy environment.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations to make your arguments clearer and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between your points to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific details or statistics in your examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction, which aligns with the prompt and provides clarity to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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