IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You recently spent a night in a hotel and had to put up with a great deal of noise very early in the morning because of a faulty central heating system. The manager promised to contact you regarding compensation but you still haven't heard from him. Write a letter to the hotel. In the letter describe the problem at the hotel explain what the manager had said at the time say what you want the manager to do.

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Hello Manager, I stayed in your hotel
last
Linking Words
 Saturday,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 explained to you about the problem I have faced during the night there is a lot of noise from the air ducts
because
Correct word choice
and because
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 of that I can not sleep properly.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 Sunday I had a business meeting,
because
Correct word choice
and because
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 of
inconvenience
Correct article usage
the inconvenience
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 at night I did not perform at the business conference.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, you
also
Linking Words
 promised
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to refund the 100% amount of room charges
due to
Linking Words
 the problem
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have faced in your hotel.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
Linking Words
 lost my contract
due to
Linking Words
 lack of sleep,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 staff of your hotel was
also
Linking Words
 not cooperative.
First,
Linking Words
they decline to register my complaint
also
Linking Words
. You can contact me by
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
email address- [email protected] or call me at 4372333474 if you have any questions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if not please interact
direct
Replace the word
directly
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
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 my email as mentioned. Your's faithfully Manpreet Singh

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using more paragraphs to separate different ideas clearly. For example, you could start a new paragraph when discussing the noise issue and another when talking about the manager's promise.
task achievement
While your tone is generally appropriate, try to be more formal. For instance, instead of 'you also promised me to refund', you could say 'you assured me that I would receive a full refund'.
task achievement
Add a bit more detail regarding how the noise affected you during your business meeting. This would emphasize your point and strengthen your request for compensation.
task achievement
You clearly explained the issue and its consequences on your sleep and performance at the business meeting.
task achievement
Your letter included a way for the manager to contact you, showing your willingness to follow up on the matter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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