IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently.

Use synonyms
People
Change noun form
People's
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 opinions are divided into two categories.Some believe that
parents
Use synonyms
 can strongly influence the lives of their children and
also
Linking Words
 make choices for them.
For example
Linking Words
 , choosing a soulmate and close friends .But there are
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who claim that freedom of
selections
Fix the agreement mistake
selection
show examples
 is very important for young
people
Use synonyms
 and they themselves must make decisions in their lives. On the one hand, listening to the opinion of your
parents
Use synonyms
 can be the right decision.They are
people
Use synonyms
 who have seen much more of
life
Use synonyms
 than we
.
Add a missing verb
do.
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Any parent never wants anything terrible or wrong for their child in an election.Every parent dreams that their child
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 have a bright future and a good environment.They know which
people
Use synonyms
 affect us well and which
people
Use synonyms
 can be a bad environment for us.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
parents
Use synonyms
 prefer to select both a partner and a friend for their child.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the call of the heart of young
people
Use synonyms
 is no less important to them .Listening to your heart and taking a lesson from
this
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
 gives many young
people
Use synonyms
 a lot more experience and value in
life
Use synonyms
.It is better to go through it once than to hear it twice.Fake friends or a partner that youthful
people
Use synonyms
 mistake make them stronger and wiser.Looking at the lesson they have learned,
such
Linking Words
 wrongs will not be repeated in the
Linking Words
further
Correct your spelling
future
show examples
.And they will
also
Linking Words
 know which
people
Use synonyms
 are different .With
this
Linking Words
 experience, they will be able to find
perfectly
Change the word
perfect
show examples
 friends and
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
 in
life
Use synonyms
. To summarize, the opinion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a lot of
choice
Change to a plural noun
choices
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some can entrust their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
show examples
 and
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 to their
parents
Use synonyms
, and some prefer to make themselves,
according to
Linking Words
 their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
show examples
 and
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 in
life
Use synonyms
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 It is more important to listen to yourself than others

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Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas with more depth. For example, provide more examples or reasons for your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to improve the transition between ideas. Using more linking words can enhance the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Some sentences feel a bit awkward and can be made more concise.
Task Achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, reinforcing your opinion on the matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Influence
  • Decision-making
  • Life experience
  • Cultural values
  • Family approval
  • Independence
  • Personal connections
  • Mutual respect
  • Interpersonal skills
  • External interference
  • Mental well-being
  • Negative influences
  • Navigate
What to do next:
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