IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the line graph showing the number of participants in four different activities at a Melbourne community center from 2000 to 2020.

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The graph provides key figures about a
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social
soical
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social
center
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centre
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 in Melbourne, Australia on the number of
participants
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 for varying activities in the years 2000 to 2020
Overall
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, it is clear from the graph that Film club was an interest for a majority of people where it stayed up notch
through out
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throughout
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 the 10 years.
Whereas
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, Musical performances that had no
participants
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 up until the
year
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 2005,
although
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 it continued to show a significant increase until the
year
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 2020
Moreover
Linking Words
, both Table tennis and Amateur dramatics at the same number of
participants
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 by the
year
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 2010 where they attracted 20 members.
However
Linking Words
, Table tennis continued to accelerate in number by having a little under 60 members by the
year
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 2020. On the other side, Amateur dramatics experienced a decline in its
participants
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in
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with
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which
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apply
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less than 10 members
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoying
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 the activity in the
year
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 2020 In terms,
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of Matrial
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Matrial
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Martial
Material
 arts showed negligible changes. Almost 40
participants
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 had been engaged since the
year
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 2000 up until 2020.

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coherence and cohesion
Include an introduction that paraphrases the task, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve vocabulary usage for greater clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more detailed comparisons between the activities to enhance the response.
task achievement
You provided relevant data and trends from the graph, which demonstrates an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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