Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to child's developmet as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in highschool. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

art

Use synonyms

classes

for

Linking Words

instance

Use synonyms

painting and drawing are as crucial to

kid's

Correct article usage

a kid's

show examples

development as other subjects, so

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should be obligatory in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high school. The writer believes that

art

Use synonyms

can enhance

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

ability in many aspects,

for

Linking Words

instance

Use synonyms

creativity

Use synonyms

skill and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

cognitive behaviour.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on how

creativity

Use synonyms

helps

people

Use synonyms

's future

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and

cognitive

Rephrase

how cognitive

show examples

behaviour is needed in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. First and foremost, based on studies that I read,

art

Use synonyms

will help

people

Use synonyms

to think more creatively. In my opinion, it will

really

Add a missing verb

be really

show examples

beneficial for individual's personal lives,

for

Linking Words

Use synonyms

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

to be an entrepreneur or an investor, you need to think differently from others,

that is

Linking Words

why

creativity

Use synonyms

is really needed. To illustrate, the founder of Amazon,

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

invented

kindle

Capitalize word

Kindle

show examples

, a device that can help us to read

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

anywhere and anytime.

Change preposition

show examples

the past,

people

Use synonyms

most

Add a missing verb

were most

show examples

likely to read

Change preposition

apply

show examples

physical books, but it

costed

Correct your spelling

cost

show examples

spaces

Fix the agreement mistake

space

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

book

Correct article usage

a book

show examples

is not a durable thing. The founder of Amazon was so creative that he made

kindle

Capitalize word

Kindle

show examples

integrated with Amazon websites, so basically

people

Use synonyms

can directly buy books through websites and automatically the books will be transferred to

kindle

Capitalize word

Kindle

show examples

devices. I think he could do it because of his creative thinking skills that he had.

This

Linking Words

skill can be enhanced through painting and drawing

that

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

imagination.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, cognitive behaviours through critical thinking and improved problem-solving will

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

be raised through

art

Use synonyms

studies. Students have to be critical

to design

Change preposition

in designing

show examples

a picture.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

have to solve the

draw

Replace the word

drawing

show examples

tasks given by their teachers. These skills are needed in the workplace and society, especially working in private companies and government

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

For

Linking Words

instance

Use synonyms

, to be an outstanding staff or a good citizen, you should convey critical solutions and have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to solve the issues given.

To sum up

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

classes will give benefits to everyone. I think we should consider

this

Linking Words

subject as important as other subjects since it will enhance a

creativity

Use synonyms

skill and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

cognitive behaviour.

ziziFri Apr 11 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'kid's' instead of 'kids' and 'behaviour' which can be spelled as 'behavior' in American English. These could impact the clarity of some sentences.

content

Try to improve the clarity of your main points by elaborating them further. For example, while you mentioned creativity is important, providing a clearer link between art classes and specific job skills would strengthen this connection.

structure

Your introduction is well-structured, but consider making your thesis statement clearer. Aim for a more precise articulation of your stance, which can guide the reader throughout.

examples

Ensure that your examples are concise and directly relate to your main point. For instance, make sure to clearly explain how the Amazon founder's success relates specifically to skills gained through art classes.

structure

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which works well in helping the reader follow your ideas.

examples

You provide relevant real-world examples, such as the founder of Amazon, which is a strong way to illustrate your claims about creativity and cognitive skills derived from art classes.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
development
self-expression
individual voice
mediums
motor skills
hand-eye coordination
cognitive benefits
problem-solving skills
critical thinking
emotional outlet
cultural awareness
artistic traditions
inclusive environment
well-rounded education
creative disciplines

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?
Nowadays, in some countries, parents assume that if kids try hard, they will be able to achieve their goals properly. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the pros and cons of this matter.
7.5
band
You would like t reduce your working hours in order to study part time. write a letter to your boss. explain why you want to reduce your working hours. say which hows you would like to work, describe how your part-time studies world kenefit your employer.
I am writing to regard my working schedule change from full-time to part-time.
6.5
band
Some people think financial aid from international organizations is important for developing countries. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have mixed different opinions on the effects of different kinds of aid. On the one hand, it is thought by some people that financial care given by international organizations is essential for developing states, while others consider that pragmatic aid and suggestion are way more significant. In my opinion, I agree that financial service is more significant for developing countries.
7
band
Some People Think That Allowing Children To Make Their Own Choices Is Likely To Result In A Society Of Individuals Who Only Think About Their Own Wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Decision-making about their career is significant. Nowadays, a part of individuals believe that giving the opportunity to choose their own style of life can create a selfish community whereas, others argue that children should be allowed to make the decisions which may influence their lives. although there is selfishness, personally, I believe that it is important for kids to make their own decisions about matters that can affect them.
7
band
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?
One of the most recent trends in today's world is the upsurge in Government investing funds in entertainment is a waste of money instead of doing that the government must invest this money in civil services. There is a wide sprit of belief among people that this is a popular subject of debate. In my perspective, I partly agree with this statement and this essay will demonstrate the reasons.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to child's developmet as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in highschool. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

You would like t reduce your working hours in order to study part time. write a letter to your boss. explain why you want to reduce your working hours. say which hows you would like to work, describe how your part-time studies world kenefit your employer.

Some people think financial aid from international organizations is important for developing countries. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some People Think That Allowing Children To Make Their Own Choices Is Likely To Result In A Society Of Individuals Who Only Think About Their Own Wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?