IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart gives details about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of male
smokers
Use synonyms
 in seven countries with the world average in two different years in 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
smokers
Use synonyms
 was in
Australia
Use synonyms
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
 was generally higher in 2000 compared to 2015. As the chart shows, in 2000, the proportion of
smokers
Use synonyms
 in America was the highest at 65%.
Then
Linking Words
, Bangladesh and Cuba showed the same percentages, at 62% and 52% respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
smokers
Use synonyms
 in Egypt, Mexico, and Lebanon recorded the same
percentage
Use synonyms
, at 35%.The number of people who smoke in
Australia
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 with under 30%.Approximately, 42% of male
smokers
Use synonyms
 in the world in 2000. In 2015, America, Egypt and Cuba showed the greatest number of cigarette users, with about 50% in each.
However
Linking Words
, Mexico and
Australia
Use synonyms
 had the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people who smoke cigarettes, with around 20% and 17% respectively.In Lebanon and Bangladesh, there were similar percentages of individuals who use tobacco products with 43% and 39% respectively.In the world, around 33 of people smoke.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, smokers, australia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart, percentage, adult male smokers
  • world average, increased, decreased
  • tobacco consumption, lung cancer
  • public health, awareness campaigns
  • government policy, smoking bans
  • health risks, nicotine, tobacco industry
  • chart analysis, data comparison
  • statistical trend, significant fluctuation
  • stagnation, steady rise, moderate fall
What to do next:
Look at other essays: