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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office build- ing on a typical weekday . Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office build- ing on a typical weekday . Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .
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The chart illustrates the sales from a
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop within
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 business building on a weekday. To analyze
this
Linking Words
 diagram, we begin by taking a closer look at the presented data, it is obvious that people tended to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and pastries in the morning, and avoided absorbing
tea
Use synonyms
 after 10:30. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen,
coffee
Use synonyms
 sold the best among the four categories in four given times, especially in the morning and the evening
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
was
Correct word choice
and was
show examples
 bought
265
Change preposition
in 265
show examples
 and 200 portions separately.
Tea
Use synonyms
 was sold the least
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 typical weekday, only sold above 100 cups in the morning.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to the beverage, the sales of
coffee
Use synonyms
 absolutely overwhelmed
tea
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole day. In terms of food category, it is apparent readily that people
Correct your spelling
preferred
prefer
perfered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 having pastries
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 breakfast time and afternoon
tea
Use synonyms
 time ( 7:30-10:30 and 14:30-17:30), and they took sandwiches as lunch or dinner generally, purchased 200 sandwiches during 10:30 to 14:30,and 110 portions was bought from 17:30 to 20:30.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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