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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts depict the
percentage
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 of British students who were able to communicate in
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
languages
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 (French only, Spanish only, German only,
two
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 other
languages
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, another
language
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, no other
language
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) other than
English
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 in
two
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years
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 (2000 and 2010).
Overall
Linking Words
, Spanish was the highest spoken
language
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in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
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 in both
years
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest proportion went for people who were capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
talk
Verb problem
speaking
show examples
two
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 other
languages
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 plus
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
English
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 in the first year,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 changed in the second year, where four categories shared
last
Linking Words
 place with the same
percentage
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. In 2000, the
language
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 with
highest
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the highest
show examples
percentage
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 was Spanish, accounting for 30%.
This
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
 category increased slightly to 35% after ten
years
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, students speaking
English
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 only came
second,
Linking Words
with a
percentage
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 of 20%. French only and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
language
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 speakers shared the same proportion in 2000, which was 15%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 10% was the number of students who could communicate in German only or
two
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 other
languages
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beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
English
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 in the first year, and it remained stable throughout the ten
years
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both
Frensh
Correct your spelling
French
 only and only
English
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 speakers'
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 declined to 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, languages, two, language, english, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • additional languages
  • proficiency
  • decade
  • trends in language learning
  • globalization
  • cultural shifts
  • inferred
  • shifted
  • popularity
  • decrease/increase in speakers
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