IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspects. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
vide
Correct your spelling
video
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 become the topic of word
toick
Correct your spelling
trick
 in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly held belief that video
games
Use synonyms
 have positive effects on
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
bihever
Correct your spelling
beaver
, there is
also
Linking Words
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
 that
aposses
Correct your spelling
possess
posses
 it.
Tis
Correct your spelling
This
 essay will
analyes
Correct your spelling
analyse
analyses
this
Linking Words
 topic from both
ponts
Correct your spelling
points
 of view and express my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 have a huge popularity and
also
Linking Words
. it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
sport
Add an article
a sport
show examples
 and had
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of positive things.In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money
spends
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
 on
this
Linking Words
 sport and become a huge
bisness
Correct your spelling
business
 so, if your child
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
 interested in
this
Linking Words
 sport he may be
pro
Correct article usage
a pro
show examples
 and bening fames and
riche
Correct your spelling
rich
.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 even the kids
donot tikeat
Correct your spelling
do not like
 sireas and just
plying
Correct your spelling
playing
show examples
 for fan computer
games
Use synonyms
 will make
theim
Correct your spelling
them
 more
foces
Correct your spelling
focused
 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 great
qicke
Correct your spelling
quick
 thinking.
resilting
Correct your spelling
resulting
 of
thes
Correct your spelling
this
 thing we
miyet
Correct your spelling
might
 have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
intelegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
gnereantion
Correct your spelling
generation
 withe great
aplithey
Correct your spelling
apathy
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people think it is
Correct article usage
a wast
show examples
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 of time.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that, young people
miyet
Correct your spelling
might
meet
 play for
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 time
witot
Correct your spelling
without
 any goals,
also
Linking Words
thes
Correct your spelling
this
 will cost
nigitev
Correct your spelling
digital
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Add an article
a time
show examples
 like eyes
pein
Correct your spelling
pain
show examples
 and
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
. If they
continey
Correct your spelling
continue
withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will cost laze
gnereantion
Correct your spelling
generation
 and
unresponsepel
Correct your spelling
unresponsive
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question.On balance,
hovever
Correct your spelling
however
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 tend to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that computer
games
Use synonyms
 will improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids if they
Add a missing verb
are utlize
show examples
utlize
Correct your spelling
utilised
 in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
grammar and accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors as they can distract from your message. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This helps strengthen your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your intention to express your opinion at the end of the essay is good, providing a personal touch to your response.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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