IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers.Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring your attention towards an issue that we have been facing for a long time. Now
this
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 problem is creating disturbance for a lot of
people
Use synonyms
. Transport conditions are worsening day by day. I am a local resident of the city
Sialkot
Change preposition
of Sialkot
show examples
, and we have only one bus stand in the whole city. I do agree with
this
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 notion that it's a small city but there is a large number of passengers who use public transport daily. Unfortunately, the buses are in the worst condition. Their metal bodies are fully rusted and the seats are extremely uncomfortable. Technical issues are always in the queue. The
Majority
Fix capitalization
majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 use public conveyance to reach their schools, universities and their job destinations. Private taxi fares are very high, it is impossible for citizens to hire private cars. These problems in public transport are affecting
people
Use synonyms
's daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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.
Moreover
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, there is no roof on the waiting area of the bus stand.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I do not use it most often, it is difficult for elders to wait
while
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 standing. It's my humble request to introduce some new buses on these routes so that
people
Use synonyms
 can easily cover their journey. Bus fares must
also
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 be reduced so that the burden is lowered on passengers. As far as the roof of the waiting area is concerned, our local council can contribute some money for its construction. Waiting for prompt action from your side! Yours faithfully, AR

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear paragraph structure, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Consider using appropriate linking phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You could develop your introduction and conclusion further to present a more comprehensive overview of the issue and summarize your suggestions more effectively.
task achievement
The letter effectively presents a clear issue and provides a personal perspective as a local resident, which adds credibility to your request.
coherence and cohesion
The letter maintains a polite tone throughout, which is appropriate for the purpose of the communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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