It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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The crucial knowledge of dividing good from bad for
children
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from childhood.
While
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some people agree that
children
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could be taught the right perspectives only by
punishments
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, I believe that demonstrating the consequences is a more effective way of taking lessons for
children
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.
This
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essay half agrees with the statement.
To begin
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with, seeing
differences
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the differences
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between right and wrong may help a child to build their moral principles,
while
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punishments
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will only ruin relationships between caretakers and
children
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. If a child was not shown the moral rules of society, it would be hard ever them to find a way to learn to divide white from black. Parents must be
a
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apply
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role
model
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models
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in their concepts of a good child.
For example
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, recent research from the Russian
centre
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Centre
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for
troubled teenagers
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Troubled Teenagers
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showed that one of the reasons for being a bully at a young age is learned aggression from parents. Turning to the second question,
punishments
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should be replaced by the consequences of a child`s misbehaviour.
Punishments
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are born from anger and irritability that make
children
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reflect on it rather than learn the lesson from it.
In contrast
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, consequences are aimed at showing the result of their misdemeanour and teaching the alternative way of behaviour.
For instance
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, Parents whose
children
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break a window should talk to them about toys that could be bought with the money from the broken window. In conclusion, the ability to distinguish nice from bad in youth is incredibly essential nowadays. I think teaching moral values to
children
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is right, but it should not be a language of
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punishments
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punishment
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly outline your main points in the introduction. This helps the reader understand what to expect in your essay.
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Make sure to provide a clear stance in your thesis statement. You mentioned that you 'half agree', which may confuse the reader regarding your actual position.
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Expand more on your examples. Provide further elaboration on how they connect with your points.
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You made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.
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Your points about the negative effects of punishment on relationships are insightful and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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