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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart illustrates the
proposion
Correct your spelling
proposition
proportion
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in four different countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020,
while
Linking Words
predicted
Change the form of the verb
predicting
show examples
further
Linking Words
 20
years
Use synonyms
.
Ovreall
Correct your spelling
Overall
, four
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nations are
gradully
Correct your spelling
gradually
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 in the
predictanble
Correct your spelling
predicted
years
Use synonyms
. Malaysia
raise
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
 the most and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the
smaillest
Correct your spelling
smallest
 gain in the entire period. In 1970,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 with 31%, followed
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
raised to
approximated
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
 50%,
then
Linking Words
 experienced some
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
,
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up with 40% in 2020. In the predictable future, the
population
Use synonyms
 will increase to 50%
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 the third place.
However
Linking Words
, the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one is Indonesia with 15% in1970,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
consistantly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 claimed between 50
years
Use synonyms
, meanwhile,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 compared with
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 over that in the future and predicted with 60% in 2024, which is the
second density
Add a hyphen
second-density
show examples
 city.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Thailand was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place with about 20%
population
Use synonyms
, its has a not significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 1990,
then
Linking Words
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 a steady
population
Use synonyms
 for 30
years
Use synonyms
, it is noticeable that has a cross with Indonesia in 2000, became the lowest
propulation
Correct your spelling
population
 city,
although
Linking Words
 it was
prected
Correct your spelling
predicted
 that will
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a 20% increase.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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