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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show information about the annual profits, the final stock prices and the market share of five different video game companies in 2022.

The charts below show information about the annual profits, the final stock prices and the market share of five different video game companies in 2022.
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The charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the yearly number of income from 10 giant game corporates in 2022.
Sony
Use synonyms
 leads the highest
revenue
Use synonyms
 with
yearly
Correct article usage
a yearly
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revenue
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
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 about 28,2 US$
billion
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Ubisoft holds the lowest
revenue
Use synonyms
 at 2,5 US$
billion
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. The first major
players
Fix the agreement mistake
player
show examples
 in
game
Correct article usage
the game
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industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
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,
Sony
Use synonyms
, accounted for
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 yearly
revenue
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 compared to other players in
industry
Add an article
the industry
an industry
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 almost 30 US$
billion
Use synonyms
. Following that, the second highest is Microsoft, which
has
Verb problem
is
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 more than 10 US$
billion
Use synonyms
 lower than
Sony
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. Both, Tencent and Nintendo
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
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 almost the same
revenue
Use synonyms
 number
in
Change preposition
apply
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about half of
Sony
Use synonyms
's
revenue
Use synonyms
. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 position, there are Activision Blizzard and EA
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 got almost similar
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 to each other for about
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
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 of
Sony
Use synonyms
's
revenue
Use synonyms
. In the seventh position, we have Epic Games,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 attained 2 US$
billion
Use synonyms
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 lower than Activision Blizzard and EA.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the three lowest are
Take Two
Add a hyphen
Take-Two
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 Interactive, Bandai Namco, and Ubisoft
that
Correct word choice
which
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value
Wrong verb form
valued
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 3 US$
billion
Use synonyms
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the two giant dominating
player
Change to a plural noun
players
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 in industries were
Sony
Use synonyms
 and Microsoft with total
revenue
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than US$ 60
billion
Use synonyms
 dollar.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sony, revenue, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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