IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You went to a museum with an elderly friend last week who found it difficult to walk around in the museum and figure out things. Write a letter to the management of the museum. In your letter, ● introduce yourself ● describe the problems or inconvenience faced ● suggest solutions to enhance the museum experience for elderly people

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express concern about
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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 for elders in the museum. To introduce myself, I am Sumit Dua from Delhi. I visited your museum
last
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 week with my elderly friend to explore historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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.
However
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, we faced a lot of issues traversing through the building.
First
Change the article
The first
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 issue that we encountered was that there were no railings to hold for going up or down through stairs. My elderly friend found it very difficult to walk without
a
Remove the article
apply
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support.
Furthermore
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, there were no ramps for disabled people to move across. The entire building was not friendly for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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 and disabled.
Lastly
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, there were no chairs or sitting
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
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 for elderly people to take some rest. To resolve the above issues, I suggest an audit
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be conducted by a professional firm and all the findings in the audit report should be acted upon to make it
elderly friendly
Add a hyphen
elderly-friendly
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. As a quick action, I suggest the railings and chairs should be installed until
audit
Correct article usage
the audit
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 happens.
This
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 will completely transform the experience for the elderly people. Thanks for taking
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 to read
this
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, and I am looking forward to your positive action. Yours faithfully, Mr. Dua

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task achievement
While the letter is mostly clear, consider providing a little more detail in describing the specific issues faced. This could enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses one main idea. For example, you could dedicate a full paragraph to suggestions for improvement.
task achievement
The letter maintains a polite and formal tone throughout, which is appropriate for addressing management.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states who you are and the purpose of the letter, making it easy for the reader to understand the context.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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