The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equaliy. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It has become a debatable concern whether the role of
women
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made a positive impact in the wide part of the world over the span of five decades or
more
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whether more
show examples
effords
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efforts
need to be
done
Verb problem
made
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for demolishing
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to demolish
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
gender-bias
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gender bias
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. I agree with
this
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notion
at
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to
show examples
some extent and
this
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essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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with some related examples from
the
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apply
show examples
real-world experience. first and foremost, there are a few verified facts that
consider
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are considered
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to be responsible for having gender equality
such
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as having legal
rights
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and educational and
employement
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employment
rights
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. To make it more clear,
female
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females
show examples
possess the statutory
rights
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and Legally protected freedoms that ensure their participation in the workforce and democratic processes.
Therefore
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,
women
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are able to make their contribution
while
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selecting
country's
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the country's
show examples
government through voting. They have
right
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the right
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te
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to
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be educated and pursue any career as per their interest since few seats must be reserved for
womens
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women
show examples
in educational
sectores
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sectors
sector
and at workplaces.
For example
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, a centre for research on
women
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's access to professional and academic fields has
showed
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shown
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that female candidates
outnumbers
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outnumber
show examples
males in universities for higher education
while
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both genders have
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a
show examples
grasp at workplaces equally.
However
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, there are
a
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apply
show examples
numerous reasons why gender equality cannot be measured effectively in
term
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terms
show examples
of
pay
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the pay
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gap , cultural and social barriers,
voilence
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violence
and discrimination at workplaces. Even in the developed nations ,
women
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has
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have
show examples
earned slightly less as compared to
opposite
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the opposite
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gender even for the same task because
women
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employees
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are considerd
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considerd
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considered
to be less productive .
Secondly
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,
according to
Linking Words
traditional values ,
women
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supposed
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are supposed
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to be much
home-oriented
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more home-oriented
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for
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to
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mange
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manage
show examples
home responsibilities like preparing food , cleaning and many more.
Moreover
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,
women
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do not only suffer from domestic
voilence
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violence
but
also
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harassment which is one of the worst
condition
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conditions
show examples
and
women
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have to go through these unacceptable things
oftenly
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often
while
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working with male
pears
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peers
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
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Constitutional
rights
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have
provided
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been provided
show examples
to
women
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for
protacting
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protecting
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women
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women's
show examples
empowerment and
make
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making
show examples
Correct article usage
a balence
show examples
balence
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balance
in society,
women
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have to suffer
with
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from
show examples
salary
discrepancy
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discrepancies
show examples
,traditional norms and societal limitations,aggression and unfair treatment in the workplace.

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structural
The introduction could be clearer by stating your position more directly. Consider rephrasing the thesis statement to make your opinion more evident.
content
Paragraphs should have a clearer topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, which will help improve the logical flow of your arguments.
language
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance coherence. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
content
You present relevant examples that support your ideas, particularly in the discussion about women's educational achievements and professional opportunities.
structural
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your position, which is effective in reinforcing your argument.
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