Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and public transport ,others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever thay like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Now,some folks
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
a mobile phone to time.We will consider now how useful and harmful using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
Nowadays,We can look at using smartphones not only by elders but
also
Linking Words
by youngsters.Some Humans say it is limited in certain places,but there are
also
Linking Words
those who oppose
this
Linking Words
.
Phones
Use synonyms
need to people take new information and do other activities.
For example
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,a lot of teenagers go to another country to work or study there. They must communicate with their parents, family and relatives.If people limit
phones
Use synonyms
others will not communicate with their families. Refusing mobiles...how to correct
this
Linking Words
idea is right?If citizens abridgement
phones
Use synonyms
, inhabitants focus on their enjoyment of the atmosphere and more on themselves and the future. Especially youth, because adults know how to use cell
phones
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,If individuals do not have their own digital
phones
Use synonyms
,Humans can live digital-free.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Make sure to have distinct paragraphs for each point you want to discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, especially when discussing the negative impacts of mobile phone ban in public spaces.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit unclear and could be better explained.
content
You present an interesting perspective on the impact of mobile phones on communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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