IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter describe the training course you want to do explain what the company could do to help you say how the course will be useful for your job

Dear manager, I am writing to you about the new training
course
Use synonyms
 our
company
Use synonyms
 will start next month for the employee. I saw the advertisement that
Use synonyms
course
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
 is about
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 SAP system which our
company
Use synonyms
plan
Correct subject-verb agreement
plans
show examples
 to
established
Wrong verb form
establish
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 change will make
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 more sustainable in terms of quality and delivery of
Add an article
the product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and I am
wiling
Correct your spelling
willing
show examples
 to do
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
. So, I want you to do for me that you can write me a letter on the
company
Use synonyms
letter head
Correct your spelling
letterhead
show examples
 which you mentioned that I am
current
Add an article
a current
show examples
 employee and I am
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
marketing
Correct article usage
the marketing
show examples
 manager position and I am
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
to join
Change preposition
in joining
show examples
 the training.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is necessary to do before
join
Change the verb form
joining
show examples
 the
course
Use synonyms
 which I have to submit to
Use synonyms
course
Add an article
the course
show examples
 provider.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 will be very useful for me in
my
Change the word
the
show examples
 future which give me more opportunities and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 secure future.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 more job security. Thanks and regards Parth Suhagiya

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking your letter into clearer paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea to improve coherence.
task achievement
Make sure to double-check spelling errors, such as 'wiling' instead of 'willing' and 'intrested' instead of 'interested', to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The letter addresses all required points of the task, showing a clear understanding of the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The intention behind the request is clear and well-articulated, reflecting a good level of professionalism.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • training course
  • skillset enhancement
  • educational leave
  • sponsorship
  • reimbursement
  • knowledge integration
  • work efficiency
  • career progression
  • continuing education
  • team contribution
  • productivity boost
  • expertise building
  • industry standards
  • hands-on experience
  • networking opportunities
  • cutting-edge techniques
  • best practices
  • return on investment
  • in-house training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: