IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars ?

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These days it is becoming increasingly common for people to commute by own cars which leads to traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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 in urban areas.
This
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 essay will explain why it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 that and what action
need
Wrong verb form
is needed
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 to overcome
such
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 a major problem. On the one hand, the first reason why it happens
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due
Add a missing verb
is due
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 to migration from rural areas to cities and it
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
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 more convenient to buy cars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 credit.
Firstly
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,
till
Correct word choice
apply
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these days
to take
Change the verb form
taking
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 auto credit
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 a bit complicated compared to thirty years ago.
Secondly
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,
due to
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expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
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 of urban territory every day some people need
drive
Fix the infinitive
to drive
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 a long distance which makes
commuting
Correct article usage
the commuting
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 process
till
Change preposition
to
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 the office almost impossible on foot or commute on public transport.
As a result
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, many countries face
such
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 challenges.
On the other hand
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, there are several ways how to overcome
this
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 problem.
In other words
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should give extra benefits financially or
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 a small tax for individuals who pass over 10 -15 km per day.
That is
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 to say,
instead
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 of
combat against
Wrong verb form
combating
show examples
 climate change which
cause
Add a missing verb
is cause
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 by released gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 countless money on issues related
it
Change preposition
to it
show examples
, they might transfer
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 budget by encouraging individuals to use eco-friendly ways. In conclusion, as everybody knows
this
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 problem will float to
surface
Correct article usage
the surface
show examples
 not the
last
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 time and the alternative option for authority
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 attract people financially.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples to improve the clarity and depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and are logically connected to enhance the logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use correct grammar and phrasing to improve the fluency of your writing, for example, 'it causes' instead of 'it cause' and 'actions needed to' instead of 'action need to'.
task achievement
You successfully identified both the causes of increased car ownership and potential solutions, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • commute times
  • pollution
  • car purchases
  • fuel prices
  • congestion charges
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • subsidies
  • incentives
  • electric vehicles
  • alternative modes of transportation
  • cycling
  • walking
  • dedicated lanes
  • pathways
  • sustainable options
  • educational campaigns
  • environmental impacts
  • health impacts
  • behavioral change
What to do next:
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