IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featureand make comparisons where relevant

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The two diagrams display the percentage of the population's
overall
Linking Words
 spending of cash in a specific European country in many varied sectors and public services .
Overall
Linking Words
, there are some sectors that faced enormous differences and others faced tiny ones . First , starting with housing
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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people started to have more
interset
Correct your spelling
interest
show examples
 in than in 1958 and rose 10 % .
In contrast
Linking Words
 , people's spending on food declined by 20% and
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 the largest decline in interest from all the sectors .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , people's interest in fashion and clothes is estimatingly the same as it was in 1958 . Second , the population's
Replace the word
love
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loving
Replace the word
love
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 of travel and transportation increased in a great way . Unlikely , the crowd's passion
of
Change preposition
for
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 entertainment
shrinked
Correct your spelling
shrank
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 by 7%
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 it was in 1958 .
However
Linking Words
 , the population's preference
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 spending money
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying expensive and luxury goods
grown
Change the form of the verb
grew
show examples
 by 10% which can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unexpected surge .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • allocation
  • commodities
  • services
  • expenditure
  • fluctuations
  • trends
  • prioritizing
  • mobility
  • disposable income
  • significant decrease
  • marked increase
  • modest
  • relatively stable
  • shifts in spending habits
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