IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You used a moving service to move your house.At your new address you discovered that some of the items were damaged.Write a letter to a manager of a company. *Give details of your move. *Describe your damage. *What you would like than to do

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with your company's service. I have rented your company's U-Haul with five movers to help
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 my all belongings. I will explain in detail, On 28 March I rented the big truck because I had
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of stuff to move from Brampton to Mississauga. My family is back home,I am living alone with my husband so we decided to get some helpers with us to get
every
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 work done easily. All movers were from India and their behaviour wasn't that good which we didn't expect. When they came to shift the furniture and all bags they were in
hurry
Correct article usage
a hurry
show examples
 and did everything very quickly.
As well as
Linking Words
, we have
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 big TV, bed and sofa set, first I told them to handle it properly but they refused to do it. They
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
kept saying that we have another work
also
Linking Words
aftet
Correct your spelling
after
this
Linking Words
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 moving. We were not happy with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 service.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 two boxes written with
handle
Fix the agreement mistake
handles
show examples
 with care. When I opened those boxes at my new address some of
kitchen
Add an article
the kitchen
show examples
 utensils
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 broken.
Along with
Linking Words
thay
Correct your spelling
that
,
flower
Add an article
the flower
show examples
 pot is
also
Linking Words
 broken. We are very disappointed with
this
Linking Words
 behaviour.  I hope you will understand my situation and will improve your service in future. Thank you, Yours Faithfully

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coherence and cohesion
Consider structuring your letter with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific details about the damage to help the manager understand the extent of the issue. Mentioning the brand or value of the items could be useful.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using varied vocabulary and sentences to enhance the overall flow of your writing. This can make your letter more engaging.
task achievement
You clearly stated your dissatisfaction with the service and provided specific examples, which helps convey your message.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is polite, showing respect even while expressing disappointment, which is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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