IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of self employed workers of the total workforce in five countries in 1998 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of self employed workers of the total workforce in five countries in 1998 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 workers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the total
workerforce
Correct your spelling
workforce
 in five European countries in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1998 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rates of
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 employees
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Turkey significantly surpassed other given countries,
while
Linking Words
Russian
Correct article usage
the Russian
show examples
Republic
Use synonyms
's
percentages
Use synonyms
 showed the lowest figures over time. Meanwhile, Slovakia's and Czech
Republic
Use synonyms
's
percentages
Use synonyms
 had a
marginally
Change the adverb
marginal
show examples
 increase,
whereas
Linking Words
 the rates of Greece experienced a
decreace
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
.
For
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Turkey, whose rates of
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 workers accounted for the largest number in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1998 and 2008, at approximately 57% and 38% respectively.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the same period, Greece's
Use synonyms
percentages
Change the noun form
percentage
show examples
 ranking
secondly
Linking Words
 dropped from 43% in 1998 to 35% in 2008.
While
Linking Words
, Greece's and Turkey's figures exhibited a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 pattern, Slovakia's, Czech
Republic
Use synonyms
's and Russian
Republic
Use synonyms
's proportions represented
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 trend. In
Czech
Correct article usage
the Czech
show examples
Republic
Use synonyms
 in 1998, There was roughly 12% of
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 workers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the total
workerforce
Correct your spelling
workforce
, and
then
Linking Words
 had rose to 14% in 2008.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the proportions of Slovakia climbed from 8% in 1998 to 12% in 2008.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Russian
Republic
Use synonyms
's
percentages
Use synonyms
 remained stable slightly rising from 6% in 1998 to 8% in 2008.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words self, republic, percentages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: