IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, a lot of individuals tend to
imagration
Correct your spelling
immigration
 to find the best work opportunity, even though that makes them go far from their own communities. From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 I believe the benefits of
this
Linking Words
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
 are more than
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can see many aspects of life
in
Change preposition
apply
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overseas. I sew
this
Linking Words
benefitical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 notion for many reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, If anyone
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
 in their comfort zone or
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 find a job even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 with their family members their relationships will be affected in
harmful
Change the article
a harmful
show examples
 way, because they will be
anxiety
Replace the word
anxious
show examples
 about their careers which makes the
enjoyable
Replace the word
enjoyment
show examples
 low and they might be isolated.
Secondly
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,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is the greatest way to expand our minds which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 the world,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means Here I will mention the drawbacks of the
disicion
Correct your spelling
decision
, the main damaging might
occerd
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occur
 is related
with
Change preposition
to
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emotional
Replace the word
emotions
show examples
, being away from our families makes us feel loneliness and over time we
cerintly
Correct your spelling
certainly
 will get
a
Remove the article
apply
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homesickness which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 us less production.
In addition
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, many humans
traveled
Wrong verb form
travel
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 overseas because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not get the perfect job
then
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 they
Add a missing verb
are suprised
show examples
suprised
Correct your spelling
surprised
 that the jobs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 more valuable,
this
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 is disappointing. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 these are not significant
inhinsts
Correct your spelling
inhibits
 because you will get used to the new life
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
, and getting better
opportinity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 differs from person to person.
Ultimatly
Correct your spelling
Ultimately
, overcoming
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
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 require hard steps.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, you certainly will get new relationships and in
ths
Correct your spelling
this
 era
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
connection is the
easest
Correct your spelling
easiest
show examples
 process, we can reach everywhere from our cell phones. To avoid getting
bed
Correct your spelling
a bad
show examples
 job, do not travel without
take
Verb problem
having
show examples
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 enough concept of your destination region.
therefore
Linking Words
, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the benefits
is outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion for clarity.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples and provide detailed explanations to support your viewpoints, which will enhance your arguments.
language use
Pay attention to grammar and word choice to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have presented a clear perspective that values the advantages of moving away for work, which is an important aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • job opportunities
  • job market
  • salaries
  • personal growth
  • cultural horizons
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • global perspective
  • emotional and psychological impact
  • loved ones
  • loneliness
  • homesickness
  • support network
  • long-distance relationships
  • emotional strain
  • face-to-face interactions
  • financial cost
  • housing deposits
  • travel costs
  • living expenses
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