IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. DO you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the length of workdays ought to be decreased and employees' free days should be more.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 standpoint for different reasons,
such
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 as
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
 on productivity and balanced
work
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-family life, which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. First of all,
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
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 working week helps
people
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 to be hard-working. To be more specific, if individuals
work
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 less, they will have a chance to rejuvenate themselves.
As a result
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, they will start a new day more productively.
For instance
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, in Denmark,
people
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work
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 four days, which is shorter than in some other countries. A recent study in
this
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 country shows that workers do not feel tired with their jobs and they can recharge their batteries in three days. Another point to consider is that if
people
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 have long weekends, they do not face problems between their jobs and families.
In other words
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, workers can spend
time
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on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their relatives more and it prevents arguments among family members relating
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
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 and family. In some developed countries where
people
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work
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 less than in the past, the rate of divorces has decreased,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 employees can allocate more
time
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
faimilies
Correct your spelling
families
 and it
is resulted
Change to the active voice
results
has resulted
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 in a decreasing number of arguments. In conclusion, taking all the aforementioned points
int
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into
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 account, I am convinced that if individuals
work
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 less and they have more free
time
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, they will be more productive in their
work
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, as they can reduce their stress at weekends and they can manage their
time
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 in
work
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 and family relationships.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your points, especially in the body paragraphs. This can help strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence for your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check for minor spelling errors (e.g., 'beacuse' should be 'because', 'faimilies' should be 'families'). These can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
While your points are logically structured, transitioning between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using linking phrases or words to enhance the flow of ideas.
content
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the overall structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow.
content
You provide relevant reasons for your argument, addressing both productivity and work-family balance effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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