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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that it is better to learn a new skill in one-on-one lessons with a trainer. Others say that it is better to learn a new skill in a group. DIscuss both these views and give your opinion

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Nowadays some people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that's learn
Wrong verb form
that learning
show examples
a new skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
new skills
a new skill
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 with
tutor
Add an article
a tutor
the tutor
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 is more active than
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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with
Change preposition
in
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traditional
Correct article usage
a traditional
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 way . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will describe that and write
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
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 conclusion . I will start looking at the advantages , on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand , the education
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
usuall
Correct your spelling
usual
 way with
Add an article
a classmate
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classmate
Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
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 can be much better you can listen to more than one opinion and gain a lot of skills from different people,
for instance
Linking Words
,
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 in
team
Add an article
a team
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 develops
mind
Add an article
the mind
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.
furthermore
Linking Words
,there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
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fear of failure and the confidence will be accepted .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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remotly
Correct your spelling
remotely
 can be helpful for some
of
Change preposition
apply
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people,
for example
Linking Words
 , who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 social. Phobia .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the teacher will focus deeply on the progress of
thr
Correct your spelling
the
 student.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in my view,schools must take steps to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem and make sure they have two
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 in a group and individual lessons as well .

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring that sentences flow smoothly from one idea to the next. Linking phrases can help with this. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition', or 'Furthermore' can improve transitions between points.
coherence and cohesion
Correct spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, such as 'beleive' to 'believe', 'usuall' to 'usual', and 'differents' to 'different'. Additionally, consider punctuation and sentence structure for clarity.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views, which is a good approach to this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction states your intention to discuss both sides, which sets a clear purpose for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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