IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

So e people think that it is a good thing for senior positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. Do you agree or disagree?

Since the famous companies became known to the general public in the early 1995s,they became important
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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. Today , even
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
junior positions get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
salaries
Use synonyms
 in their company.
And some
Correct word choice
Some
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 believe that having much
more
Correct word choice
higher
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salaries
Use synonyms
 for senior positions is a good thing. Others,
however
Linking Words
, disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and think all workers should take equal
salary
Use synonyms
 as well. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will examine
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 two views and will give my personal opinion. On the one hand,it is a good thing,of course, to get much higher
salaries
Use synonyms
.Because somebody has two years of experience and somebody has just a half year of experience. And these 2 types of people should not get
same
Correct article usage
the same
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salaries
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my dad takes six
millions
Change to singular
million
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 without any rewards.He is a
manager
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, other workers take less than six
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. It is correct because my dad has four years of experience.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 those in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of equal
salary
Use synonyms
 have a valid reason,because Of the society layer everybody's condition is different. When every time only
Use synonyms
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
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 or
art-boss
Correct your spelling
art boss
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get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 a lot of
salary
Use synonyms
 and others get 2 times or 3 times less than
Use synonyms
manager
Add an article
a manager
the manager
show examples
, they feel
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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very poor.
That is
Linking Words
 to say in junior positions work people whose life
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 difficult and full of issues.
And they
Correct word choice
They
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demotivate
Wrong verb form
are demotivated
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 from life after seeing that their
manager
Use synonyms
 gets much higher cash. There are people who altered
this
Linking Words
 situation does
conclusion
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusions
show examples
 and actions To summarize what has been so far I am for taking much higher
salaries
Use synonyms
 than other workers because it
also
Linking Words
 depends on age.When you
Add a missing verb
are elder
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elder
Correct your spelling
older
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, you have more
salary
Use synonyms
,of course. And my advice,
we
Add a missing verb
is we
show examples
 should now study if we do not want to get
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.For
girls
Add a comma
girls,
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 it is a common thing but for
boys
Add a comma
boys,
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 it is shameless
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they should look after their family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,I think between
salaries
Use synonyms
 should be
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
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 difference and
then
Linking Words
 it would be
on
Change preposition
apply
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a solution

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline both views in separate paragraphs and provide a more balanced argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is well-supported with clear examples and explanations.
grammar and language use
Check for grammatical errors that impact clarity, such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation.
positive aspect
You present both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced essay.
positive aspect
Your personal opinion is clearly stated at the end of the essay, which adds to the clarity of your argument.
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