IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In this present time, CCTV is widely used in public areas in many cities for crime prevention. Whereas some humankind consider this measure to be an invasion of privacy, I contend that the advantages of using video cameras surpass its disadvantages.

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I agree that the advantages of the use of
Cctv
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CCTV
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 surpass its disadvantages for a plethora of reasons.
Firstly
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, it is
common
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a common
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 fact that the knowledge of being watched or being seen perpetrating evil serves as a deterrence as one would know beforehand that their actions will not go unpunished.
Secondly
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, The use of video cameras
have
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has
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 recorded a number of successes with respect to catching thieves and
pin pointing
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pinpointing
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 suspects of various crimes,
hence
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, people lean more towards installing them for these measures.
Thirdly
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, video cameras have been used as agents of justice as they can be tendered in court as evidence to either prosecute or vindicate an accused.
However
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, leaning on the argument that it is an invasion of privacy, they're only allowed in public spaces and in my opinion there's nothing private about public spaces. In conclusion, the advantages surpass its claimed disadvantages and I would suggest we keep promoting the accountability culture by allowing
cctv
Correct your spelling
CCTV
 cameras in our public spaces.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each point is fully developed with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the flow of your ideas by using more linking words and phrases. This will help in connecting your points better.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, arguing effectively in favor of CCTV use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction outlines the main argument succinctly, providing a clear direction for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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