IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events’ organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser •expressing your interest in the role •requesting more information about it •explaining what experience you have

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Dear Sir/Madame, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regarding
Change the verb form
regard
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Correct article usage
the 1
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1 month
Add a hyphen
1-month
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 training programme that we are going
next
Change preposition
on next
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 month and I would like to give my name for organising the social events. I find myself very perfect for
this
Linking Words
 role.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I want to mention
about
Change preposition
apply
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my keen interest in
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 enjoy doing social events and would great match to handle all the roles and responsibilities throughout the
course
Use synonyms
. I have done
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of workshops related to
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, I have done 6 months of apprentice training
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 as I live in Terrace,
was
Correct word choice
and was
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 working with Northern Health Authority they were hiring for volunteer work in town so I joined there and gained experience and
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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 about social workshops.
In addition
Linking Words
, I would like to know more about the
course
Use synonyms
,
how
Correct word choice
and how
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its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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gonna
Verb problem
going to
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 be held. Is
this
Linking Words
voluntry
Correct your spelling
voluntary
 work or paid work
.
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?
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 How many students are going to be a part of
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 and what
willbe
Correct your spelling
will be
 the duration
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 It would be great if you could consider my profile. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Deepshikha Pal

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your letter for grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity. For example, 'regarding' should be followed by 'the.'
task achievement
Organize your ideas more clearly by ensuring each paragraph has a single focus. For example, separate your expression of interest from your experience.
task achievement
You expressed a clear interest in the role of social events organizer.
task achievement
Your previous experience in workshops related to this course is impressive and adds credibility.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expressing interest
  • enthusiastic
  • responsibilities
  • expectations
  • relevant experience
  • suitability
  • organise
  • co-ordinate
  • engage
  • social activities
  • detailed information
  • demonstrate proficiency
  • prior experience
  • effective communication
  • successful events
  • team collaboration
What to do next:
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