IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts give information about the average amount of time per day spent on two common leisure activities of different age groups in New Zealand.

The charts give information about the average amount of time per day spent on two common leisure activities of different age groups in New Zealand.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two bar charts compare the average amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on two entertaining activities, reading and listening to music, among 5 distinct
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
time
Use synonyms
 devoted to reading tends to rise with
age
Use synonyms
, the pattern for listening is less consistent, with the youngest and oldest
groups
Use synonyms
 spending the most
time
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
. Looking closely at the first graph, the youngsters between the ages of 15 to 24 spend the least amount of
time
Use synonyms
 on the reading
activity
Use synonyms
, with only 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day.
By comparison
Linking Words
, the three
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 between the ages of 25 to 54 contribute more
time
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
, with an average of 35
minutes
Use synonyms
, 45
minutes
Use synonyms
,
50
Correct word choice
and 50
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
 respectively.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the reading
time
Use synonyms
 for the senior
group
Use synonyms
 aged 55 and above is around 70
minutes
Use synonyms
 each day, which is three times as much as the
time
Use synonyms
 recorded from the youngest
group
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the second chart, it is obvious that the youngest and oldest
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 spend over 70
minutes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
listening to music, at least 10
minutes
Use synonyms
 more than any other
groups
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, individuals
at
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 25 to 34 and 45 to 54 have similar
time
Use synonyms
 spent on
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
, with roughly 1 hour on a daily basis.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the 35-44
group
Use synonyms
 records the least amount
Use synonyms
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 distributed to music, almost half as much as the youngest
group
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, age, groups, activity, minutes, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: