IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The provided bar chart illustrates information about the
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
britains
Change the capitalization
Britains
show examples
 in five different
age
Use synonyms
 groups, who have donated money to a charity in two different
years
Use synonyms
 namely 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be noticed, in both
years
Use synonyms
 as the
age
Use synonyms
 range grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
older, the percentage of money
contributers
Correct your spelling
contributors
 decreased. Except for the two
last
Linking Words
 groups of elderly people,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 a slight increase can be seen.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,a major decline of donors happened in 2010 among the youngest group, compared to that of in 1990. From more than 15% to nearly 5% .
Similarly
Linking Words
, the percentage of benefactors
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 groups of 26-35
years
Use synonyms
 old and 36-50, dropped
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
 more than 5% in 2010 than it was
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20
years
Use synonyms
 before. In detail, from above 30% and 40% to less than 25% and 35% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people who gave money to charity with
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
an age
the age
show examples
 range of 51-56
years
Use synonyms
 old and older than 65
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a slight increase from 1990 to 2010.
This
Linking Words
 number
rosed
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 from 35% to 40% for the group
age
Use synonyms
 of 51-56 and 30 to 35 for the eldest range.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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