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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the electricity data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
production
Use synonyms
 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
ten
Correct your spelling
10
 countries in 2014.
It’s
Unnecessary verb
It
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clear
Change the word
clearly
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 shows that China is the biggest
production
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 and
consumption
Use synonyms
country
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,
about
Change preposition
with about
show examples
 5398 and 5322
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Korea’s
production
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 number about 485.1 is the rank 10 on the chart, and the
consumption
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 the smallest, only 449.5
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
. The second top
country
Use synonyms
 is
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States.
However
Linking Words
, the
production
Use synonyms
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 is lower than China about 1300
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 about 4099, and the
consumption
Use synonyms
 just smaller than
Use synonyms
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 about 3866
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the figure,
people
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in people
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live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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 in Russia electricity
production
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 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 are similar. In 2014, the
production
Use synonyms
 of Russia
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 1057, and the
consumption
Use synonyms
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
 lower than
Use synonyms
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
19
Change preposition
of 19
show examples
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 about 1038. At the same time, Germany is the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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country
Use synonyms
 where
consumption
Use synonyms
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than
production
Use synonyms
. The
consumption
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 of Germany is 582.5
billion
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kWh
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, but the
production
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 is about 526.6
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, even over than Brazil, France and Canada, which countries
production
Use synonyms
rank
Fix the agreement mistake
ranks
show examples
 are higher than Germany.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
India
Change preposition
in India
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the ratio of
production
Use synonyms
 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 biggest
country
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, the
production
Use synonyms
 is 871
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, it is the rank 5. But the
consumption
Use synonyms
only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
 698.8
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2014.

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, consumption, country, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • top ten countries
  • bar chart
  • data representation
  • significant figures
  • discrepancy
  • outliers
  • comparative analysis
  • resource management
  • energy policy
  • reliant on imports
  • balanced ratio
  • notable trends
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