IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government's decision to close the land borders in order to boost local production is a great idea. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this decision? What alternative decisions could have been used to boost local production?

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It is a good initiative by
Correct article usage
the governent
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governent
Correct your spelling
government
 to close the land borders to uplift local manufacturing.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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 and cons of the
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
 decision. I will provide some suggestions that can used to increase in-house manufacturing. One major disadvantage of border closer is that it will
put
Verb problem
have
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 a negative impact on the food
availibility
Correct your spelling
availability
. Many
country's
Change noun form
countries
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 like Canada, where the weather conditions are not favourable to
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
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 crops can find difficulties
to
Change preposition
in
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fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 their needs.
Secondly
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, some products will be expensive. A lot of companies like Apple
,
Remove the comma
apply
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manufactures
Correct subject-verb agreement
manufacture
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 their phones in China to
reduced
Change the form of the verb
reduce
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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manufacturing
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 because
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 labour
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very low than other countries. Shifting towards advantages,
firstly
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, closing the land border will boost
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 economy.
In other words
Linking Words
,
due to
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 less competition, the local vendors have opportunities to sell more local produce
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 in the markets which will
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
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 to
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
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 growth. Another advantage of
this
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 decision is that there will be less instability in the markets. The political change in the neighbouring countries can cause disturbance in the supply chain which leads to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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 supply of products.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can impose tariffs
to
Change preposition
on
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 international
goods
Use synonyms
 as a measure to save our local
goods
Use synonyms
.
This
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 will force
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 to buy local commodities as compared to foreign
goods
Use synonyms
. After imposing tariffs the price of the international
goods
Use synonyms
 will be higher than local
goods
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 there will be unavailibility and expensive problems due
closing
Change preposition
to closing
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 the border,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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it can boost
local
Add an article
the local
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 economy and
maintaine
Correct your spelling
maintain
maintained
 a stable supply of
goods
Use synonyms
 and imposing tariffs can
promotes
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
 local commodities.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Aim to develop your ideas more fully, providing more specific examples or explanations where necessary.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
You clearly identified the advantages and disadvantages of the government's decision.
coherence and cohesion
Your structure is logical, with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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