IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The illustration depicts information about the plan of the public park in 1920 and how it has changed up to now. It is avert that there have been considerable transformations within the given period. Before, there was a fountain in the middle which
then
Linking Words
 changed to a
Rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the seats placed at the fence around the park
now
Add a missing verb
are now
show examples
 replaced
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 around the
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
. The stage for
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
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 located on the
left hand
Add a hyphen
left-hand
show examples
 side
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the fountain
exchanged
Add a missing verb
was exchanged
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the amphitheatre for concerts, meanwhile on the opposite side of it, a
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 at the top altered
to
Change preposition
into
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 a cafe and a pond for water plants
gave
Wrong verb form
giving
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 it
is
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
place
Add an article
the place
a place
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children's play area
while
Linking Words
instead
Linking Words
 of a glasshouse below it water feature was constructed after a
centery
Correct your spelling
century
 elapsed. A
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 situated near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the north-western corner stayed the same. Simultaneously, two entrances leading to Arnold
avenue
Capitalize word
Avenue
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 and Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 remained the same.
Overall
Linking Words
, Grange Park which was an
old fashioned
Add a hyphen
old-fashioned
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, calm and natural landscape has transformed into
modern
Add an article
a modern
show examples
 entertaining place with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 convenience
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
 a snack.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of your ideas by utilizing clearer linking phrases and transitions between sentences. This will help guide the reader through your description of the changes.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, explaining what features of the new café contribute to its modernity would enhance the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
You did well in describing the main changes clearly, providing a contrast between the old and the new features of the park.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of a chronological structure, moving from past to present, was effective in showing the progression of the park's development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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