IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What problems does this cause? What can be done about the problems?

Nowadays, the unbalancing of facilities in different territories is one of the most important reasons for people to emigrate. In
this
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 regard, the migration of individuals from rural areas to urban can lead to crucial issues.
This
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 essay will explore the strain on urban
infrastructure
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 and increasing
pollution
Use synonyms
 as the most important problems.
Also
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, some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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such
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 as investing in urban
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and encouraging remote
work
Use synonyms
 will be suggested. pressure on urban
infrastructure
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 and services can result from
this
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 matter. It is obvious that not only
this
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 kind of migration can increase
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of
cities
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, but
also
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this
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 can lead to
a
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apply
show examples
considerable pressure on their
infrastructure
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. In fact, the more populated
cities
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 are, the more facilities they need. In my hometown, Tehran, as an example, the average
of
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apply
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waiting time for health services has increased since
last
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 decade because of the uncontrollable increasing population that had been driven by migration.
Also
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, it has been proven that the more populated
cities
Use synonyms
 are, the more polluted they are.
This
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 means that immigration to
cities
Use synonyms
 can lead to
pollution
Use synonyms
, another problem, which is the root of many diseases.
For example
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, The aforementioned city, Tehran, is one of the most polluted
cities
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around
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in
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 the world. Investing in urban
infrastructure
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 and services can be considered a solution to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of facilities. If
cities
Use synonyms
 had enough impressive
infrastructure
Use synonyms
, they never would face
this
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 problem.
therefore
Linking Words
, it is an intelligent idea for governments to improve
Use synonyms
infrastructure
Add an article
the infrastructure
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 of
cities
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 several times more than
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 need.
For instance
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, Yazd, a city in Iran, can host three times more than
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 population thanks to recent developments.
Furthermore
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, encouraging remote
work
Use synonyms
 is another way to solve the problem. The spread of remote
work
Use synonyms
 can lead to less transportation and
this
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 can directly impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the amount of
pollution
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, Beijing after spreading
of
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apply
show examples
remote
work
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 because of Corona virus has more clean
day
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days
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 than past. In conclusion, there are some significant issues resulting from immigration to
cities
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 from rural areas.
This
Linking Words
 is mentioned that the pressure on urban
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and increasing
pollution
Use synonyms
 are two important problems which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 driven by
this
Linking Words
 matter.
Also
Linking Words
, it is discussed that investing in urban
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and encouraging remote
work
Use synonyms
 can be noticed as two practical solutions.

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed with detailed explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas, perhaps by using more linking words or phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify some sentences to enhance understanding, focusing on avoiding grammatical errors.
task achievement
You have clearly identified the main problems related to urban migration and proposed relevant solutions.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as Tehran and Yazd, effectively illustrate your points, enhancing your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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