Some people believe that governments should spend the money from taxes on healthcare services, while others think that this budget should be invested in other fields. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

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Today,

phone

Use synonyms

calls have become a very common activity for many

people

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

whether it should be monitored by governments or considered a personal concern. In my opinion,

phone

Use synonyms

calls should not be accessed by the government or any other institution without the individual's permission.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and explain the reasons behind keeping the

phone

Use synonyms

calls a personal matter. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, governments need to track

people

Use synonyms

phone

Use synonyms

communication, which leads to increasing community safety.

For example

Linking Words

, if the police system detected the criminal's calls before the incident, more lives could be saved. Which allows

people

Use synonyms

to live in more peaceful societies.

However

Linking Words

, I believe it is hard to track all the calls at the same time

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since there is a large number of fake calls.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the fact that cellular phones are available to all ages should be considered, as

this

Linking Words

will increase the possibility of immature, manipulative calls, which means tracking them is a waste of time.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, .

Change the punctuation

show examples

accessing the personal calls may cause spreading the private talk will result in breaking the unity of the community.

For instance

Linking Words

, if two football players' argument

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

has leaked to the public, it could create a serious conflict between their supporters, which will initiate a long-term struggle in the future and may impact the security of the next generations. I strongly believe that governments should prohibit access to personal calls will benefit not only individuals but

also

Linking Words

their communities. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

detecting some individuals' calls may contribute to enhancing community safety, it would be safer to avoid recording personal communication

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next to improve coherence. Transition words and phrases can help connect your ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

Provide clearer examples to support your points. For instance, the example about the football players could be expanded to show how it relates to the larger issue of community impact.

task achievement

Clarify your main arguments to ensure they are fully developed and supported. Some points were not detailed enough to fully convey your argument.

task achievement

You presented a clear opinion in your introduction, which is essential for addressing the task.

coherence and cohesion

The essay structure is recognizable, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people believe that governments should spend the money from taxes on healthcare services, while others think that this budget should be invested in other fields. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles overweigh the disadvantages?