A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

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Security has been always a great issue in the political structure of a

country

Use synonyms

, so there are always divided opinions on the matter and

it´s

Use synonyms

hard to achieve a

conclussion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

that makes everyone happy. Given that fact, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that spending more on

defense

Use synonyms

it´s

Wrong verb form

show examples

not going to ensure the safety of the citizens.

First,

Linking Words

we have the option to spend more

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

This

Linking Words

option

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a large number of

people

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who

believes

Correct subject-verb agreement

believe

show examples

it is the right one, but I think that spending on

defense

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is a reaction to a problem, not a solution. To give an example of

this

Linking Words

, a

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defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

improvement

it´s

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going to help in the short time because

it´s

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going to persuade

people

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to not commit any crimes, but in the long

run

Add a comma

run,

show examples

it´s

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going to

increse

Correct your spelling

increase

the violence of the crimes in the

country

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These kind

Change the determiner

This kind

These kinds

show examples

of actions sometimes

led

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

weaponery

Correct your spelling

weaponry

in both parties, the cops

gets

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get

show examples

better

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

so the criminals

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

need to improve their

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

as well. What I

state

Wrong verb form

stated

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the previous lines

it´s

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because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

, when you´re fighting crime you're

fitghting

Correct your spelling

fighting

people

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that

doesn´t

Change the verb form

don´t

show examples

have, in many cases, the chance to feed their families because of the lack of opportunities to find a proper job.

Second,

Linking Words

we have a chance to spend on

education

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. If a

contry

Correct your spelling

country

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

show examples

their money

wisele

Correct your spelling

wisely

whistle

education

Use synonyms

, with time,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

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are going to have better

oppotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

in life. If a person has better qualifications,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs are going to be

wainting

Correct your spelling

waiting

for them.

Also

Linking Words

, if a

country

Use synonyms

contributes to the

education

Use synonyms

system, the younglings are going to

crompehend

Correct your spelling

comprehend

what actions are good or wrong easily. And,

finally

Linking Words

, if a

country

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spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

their money on

education

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, they are fighting the crime rates before it even

begin

Change the verb form

begins

show examples

. In

conclussion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, I don´t agree

to increase

Change preposition

with increasing

show examples

the spending on

Use synonyms

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

. My opinion is that the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

needs to spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

money on

education

Use synonyms

and, with time, the insecurity of the citizens

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

going to be over because we are going to have fewer criminals in the

country

Use synonyms

rafaelboedepSat Apr 26 2025

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, but it could benefit from more structured argumentation and a clearer position from the outset. Ensure your thesis statement is more prominent in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Some paragraphs could be better organized. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it links logically to the next. Transitional phrases would enhance the flow between ideas.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples to support your points. The argument about education should be backed with evidence or data demonstrating its effectiveness at reducing crime rates.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Minor errors can detract from the overall clarity of your writing, so proofreading is essential.

content

The essay presents a thoughtful reflection on the issue of government spending and security, showcasing an understanding of the implications of different approaches.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

national security
sovereignty
foreign entities
military sector
economic growth
inequality
vulnerable populations
elderly
disabled
unemployed
social stability
public health
balanced approach
appropriate funding
nation’s needs
priorities

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat.

It is unacceptable that people who work in certain professions,eg.finance,media, entertainment and sport,are paid such high salaries while others, who do more important jobs in society,are underpaid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You want to complain about the service you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organised the meeting. In your letter • describe the meeting explan the posite it the evice suggest what the meeting organiser should do.