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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Mobile phone subscriptions

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Mobile phone subscriptions
The chart illustrates the number of
subscribers
Use synonyms
 of cell phones and
Use synonyms
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
show examples
 in
Entrea
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, India,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 from 2005 to 2015,
Overall
Linking Words
, there are fluctuations in mobile phone
subscribers
Use synonyms
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries,
while
Linking Words
UK
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 and
Entrea
Use synonyms
subscribers
Use synonyms
remian
Correct your spelling
remain
remained
 stable with slight increases.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand,
telephone
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subcriptions
Correct your spelling
subscriptions
 remain stable with slight increases over the period.
Entrea
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 and
Uruguay
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subscribers
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 were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 till 2007
then
Linking Words
 there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase in
Uruguay
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subscribers
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 with just over 50
million
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. Indian
subcribtions
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subscriptions
subscription
 started just below 50
then
Linking Words
 there was a hike in
subscrptions
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subscriptions
subscription
 reaching thrice as high as compared to
Uruguay
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subscriptions
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.
UK
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subscriptions
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 remain constant over the period with
Correct your spelling
slight
sligh
Correct article usage
a sligh
show examples
 hike
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 over 100
million
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, In
Entrea
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 and
Use synonyms
Uruguay
Add a comma
Uruguay,
show examples
telephone
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subscriptions
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 were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 just below 10
million
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,
while
Linking Words
 Indian
subscriptions
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 were just above 30
million
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 which is almost three times more than Entraea and
Uruguay
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.
UK
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telephone
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subscriptions
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 had
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreases
decraese
Correct your spelling
decrease
 reaching just below 60
million
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subscribers, telephone, entrea, uk, uruguay, million, subscriptions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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