IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom others believe that online learning is more effective discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about which type of
education
Use synonyms
 is appropriate for
students
Use synonyms
 . Some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that learning
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online platforms is more effective ,
While
Linking Words
 others think that in-person interaction is better . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be presenting the two perspectives before illustrating my own opinion on the matter.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, the typical learning in classrooms has been always crucial .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , classrooms provide
students
Use synonyms
 with many
skills
Use synonyms
 that online learning can not do . To be more specific , the student will have to interact with a
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
people
Use synonyms
 and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 he will be exploring more personalities and
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 knowledge on their
culters
Correct your spelling
culture
cultures
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will enhance the way they communicate with others .
This
Linking Words
 learning has a profound effect on the
skills
Use synonyms
 they
acqiure
Correct your spelling
acquire
acquired
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , not only their social
skills
Use synonyms
 will
devlope
Correct your spelling
develop
 dramatically but
also
Linking Words
 the way they solve
proplems
Correct your spelling
problems
 will change in a positive way, by learning from their teachers and friends. Having a physical teacher around them will keep them focused the whole period of class or else they will get punished or
yalled
Correct your spelling
yelled
called
 at . In
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
 there are no distractions
such
Linking Words
 as phones , family , and all the electronic devices and
this
Linking Words
 will spark
curiosty
Correct your spelling
curiosity
 in them as they will be forced to concentrate
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their teaching class .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , some
people
Use synonyms
 think that online
education
Use synonyms
 is more effective for
people
Use synonyms
 who study .
Students
Use synonyms
 will rely entirely on their selves with no actual teacher guiding them .
This
Linking Words
 contribution will build
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 in their personalities .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 individuals who have social
anxities
Correct your spelling
anxieties
 will feel more
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
 in their homes . Studying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online platforms is easier and faster ,
saves
Correct word choice
and saves
show examples
 both
effert
Correct your spelling
effort
 and time .
This
Linking Words
 is because
students
Use synonyms
 can gain access to their class
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere wearing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comfortable clothes and
laying
Correct your spelling
lying
show examples
 on bed . Taking everything into account , Both methods are
controersial
Correct your spelling
controversial
 nowadays .
While
Linking Words
 online offers
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
, traditional
classrooms
Change the noun form
classroom
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 provides interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 and deeper understanding . In my opinion , in-person
education
Use synonyms
 with teachers and classmates is more effective for
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 both academic knowledge and essential life
skills
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Make sure to check for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'belive', 'variaty', 'acqiure', 'devlope', 'proplems', 'yalled', and 'curiosty'.
content
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and supported with clear examples to strengthen your points.
cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the flow of your essay.
content
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument and express a clear opinion at the end of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate feedback
  • retention of information
  • sense of community
  • social and communication skills
  • controlled learning environment
  • flexibility in scheduling
  • online resources and tools
  • cater to different learning styles
  • learn at their own pace
  • complex subjects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: