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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom others believe that online learning is more effective discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate about which type of
education
Use synonyms
 is appropriate for
students
Use synonyms
 . Some
people
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that learning
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online platforms is more effective ,
While
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 others think that in-person interaction is better . In
this
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essay
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essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will be presenting the two perspectives before illustrating my own opinion on the matter.
to begin
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 with, the typical learning in classrooms has been always crucial .
Firstly
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 , classrooms provide
students
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 with many
skills
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 that online learning can not do . To be more specific , the student will have to interact with a
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
people
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 and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 he will be exploring more personalities and
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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 knowledge on their
culters
Correct your spelling
culture
cultures
.
Thus
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,
this
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 will enhance the way they communicate with others .
This
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 learning has a profound effect on the
skills
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 they
acqiure
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acquire
acquired
.
For instance
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 , not only their social
skills
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 will
devlope
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develop
 dramatically but
also
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 the way they solve
proplems
Correct your spelling
problems
 will change in a positive way, by learning from their teachers and friends. Having a physical teacher around them will keep them focused the whole period of class or else they will get punished or
yalled
Correct your spelling
yelled
called
 at . In
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
 there are no distractions
such
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 as phones , family , and all the electronic devices and
this
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 will spark
curiosty
Correct your spelling
curiosity
 in them as they will be forced to concentrate
to
Change preposition
on
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 their teaching class .
On the other hand
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 , some
people
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 think that online
education
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 is more effective for
people
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 who study .
Students
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 will rely entirely on their selves with no actual teacher guiding them .
This
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 contribution will build
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 in their personalities .
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 individuals who have social
anxities
Correct your spelling
anxieties
 will feel more
pleasent
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pleasant
 in their homes . Studying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online platforms is easier and faster ,
saves
Correct word choice
and saves
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 both
effert
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effort
 and time .
This
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 is because
students
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 can gain access to their class
in
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apply
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anywhere wearing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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comfortable clothes and
laying
Correct your spelling
lying
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 on bed . Taking everything into account , Both methods are
controersial
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controversial
 nowadays .
While
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 online offers
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
, traditional
classrooms
Change the noun form
classroom
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 provides interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 and deeper understanding . In my opinion , in-person
education
Use synonyms
 with teachers and classmates is more effective for
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 both academic knowledge and essential life
skills
Use synonyms
 .

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language
Make sure to check for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'belive', 'variaty', 'acqiure', 'devlope', 'proplems', 'yalled', and 'curiosty'.
content
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and supported with clear examples to strengthen your points.
cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the flow of your essay.
content
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument and express a clear opinion at the end of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate feedback
  • retention of information
  • sense of community
  • social and communication skills
  • controlled learning environment
  • flexibility in scheduling
  • online resources and tools
  • cater to different learning styles
  • learn at their own pace
  • complex subjects
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