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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how a simple water filter is constructed and how it functions to produce clean drinking water. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how a simple water filter is constructed and how it functions to produce clean drinking water. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture below shows the information about the
water
Use synonyms
 purifier and how it is constructed.
Demostrate
Correct your spelling
Demonstrate
 how it works and
fillter
Correct your spelling
filter
 the
water
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is explicitly observed that there are two tanks, one is
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 as
purifier
Add an article
a purifier
show examples
 and the other one is used as a storage. It illustrates that total
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
steps of automatic
fillter
Correct your spelling
filter
filters
 that produce the drinking
water
Use synonyms
.
Initialy
Correct your spelling
Initially
, the main feature is that in a container called
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
 purifier.In
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we pour the impure
water
Use synonyms
 and it is
filltered
Correct your spelling
filled
 in three stages sand, charcoal,and gravel.
Thus
Linking Words
, all three
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 useful in
sand
Wrong verb form
sanding
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 its impurity.
Futuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in charcoal the
water
Use synonyms
is leave
Change the verb form
leaves
show examples
 its dirt
particals
Correct your spelling
particles
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in gravel the
water
Use synonyms
strain
Fix the agreement mistake
strains
show examples
 out with purest form and produces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drinking
water
Use synonyms
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
the
Rephrase
when the
show examples
water
Use synonyms
is reached
Wrong verb form
reaches
show examples
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the end level
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 gravel the pipe/hose
transfer
Correct subject-verb agreement
transfers
show examples
 the pure
water
Use synonyms
 into
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another tank through
pipe
Correct article usage
the pipe
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second tank is used as a tank/storage.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the pure drinking
water
Use synonyms
 is stored and
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 for drinking or in any other use.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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